Breakfast in Bed by Mary Cassatt, 1897Today is the first real snow of the season and it is beautiful. I live in an area called the "snowbelt". The wind and snow come off of Lake Erie and if the lake is not frozen over (with this warm autumn it will be a while before it freezes) moisture is picked up, changes to snow, and is dumped in a three county area, mine being one. Roads are terrible, schools closed and I just love it!! This weather has given me an opportunity to get back to blogging. I have not been able to blog in a while because, as I hinted to in my last couple of posts, life has changed considerably for me. Thanks Ed, KJ, and Martha for their words of encouragement, they really are very helpful.
I am now able to talk about the twists and turns that have taken place. It all started when my oldest daughter called from college in late September asking for help. One of the things that I always say to my children is, "if you get in trouble call me." Well the first words out of her mouth was that she was in trouble. She told me that she was pregnant and due January 1st. I didn't know if I was going to pass out or get sick, this is not what I wanted for my daugher and it was not anything that I thought would happen to one of my children. Being a single mother, I have always told them that parenting is a two person job, its to hard to do on your own and someone is always on the losing end. I won't go into every detail but I told her that I was very dissappointed but I love her no matter what. She has always been a really good kid and she made a big mistake and is now paying for it. Many conversations have taken place and the bottom line is that she has decided to keep the baby and move back home to finish her degree. So now that I have gone through a huge array of emotions I am now able to accept what is happening and I am looking forward to meeting my first grandchild. I have been to two doctors appointments and have seen the ultrasounds. Both mom and the baby are in good health. She is having a girl and she is just beautiful. It is amazing how good the ultrasound machines are, we could see her little face and so many little details, we even saw her tongue.
I am picking my daughter up this Saturday and moving her back home. She will be back in her old room until the baby is born, which is only 3 weeks away (personally I don't think she is going to make it till then). I am now in the process of converting my studio into a bedroom for her and the baby. Hopefully this will be a temporary solution. I am working with a contractor to add on more bedrooms, but this may take many months. So, until the construction is finished I must change my way of making art. I have started some small canvases, 8x10. I am not use to working so small and they really are not very good, but I am taking this as a challenge. I have also started using my sketchbook and drawing more. I really miss doing life drawing and have started doing some figure work. So as you can read things have changed quite a bit, but now that I have adjusted, life is OK, no note just OK, life is good.
4 comments:
A very powerful post. I can relate. In April 2004 our youngest daughter came home and told us she was pregnant. On the 13th of this month we will celebrate the first birtyhday of our beautiful grandson, Aidan. Our dreams and plans have changed but life goes on.
Happy New Year and Bless Your Heart(s)! You and yours are going to be just fine, I can tell by your all encompassing attitude... that's what mom's do. You'll get used to working small, leave the door open for other changes in the way you work, you might find some interesting surprises.
Shari,
New Year's Day baby girl! What a terrific way to begin the New Year.
Although I’m not a mother myself I can only imagine the mixture of feelings and sensations you’ve been going through about your daughter’s surprising news. Without doubt you’re a wonderful mother. Some mothers would reject the situation and alienate their daughter. If I were in your position, I think there would come an eventual pride and satisfaction knowing that you’re there for your daughter at a time when she really needs your support. This is positive and empowering. Both you and your daughter including the rest of your family will go through many transforming changes; nonetheless, with this comes great potential. All the best, June.
P.S. Love your art!! Will visit your blog often and thanks for your comment on mind.
Thanks all for stopping by the blog, especially since I have been in limbo for a while.
Ed, Happy Birthday to little Aiden. I am sure he a is a joy. Thanks for sharing. I have found out that I am not alone in this sitution and that dreams may change, but that is not always a bad thing. Keep up the great posts, I may even try some pastels with my refined studio space.
KJ, thanks for the blessings, I am sure 2007 will be great. I find that working small has given me great freedom to just discover and play. I am excited to see what happens, mind, heart, and eyes are open to exciting developements.
June, you are kind. I feel that I am doing the right thing. My daughter and I have grown very close over the past couple of months and I very fortunate to be so involved with the birth of my granddaughter. We are all so excited. Thanks for your comments, I ran across you blog about a month ago and have really enjoyed your posts and your wonderful work.
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